


Finding You

by nonbinarynica



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bakery AU, Because I'm the author and I say so, Everyone is aged up just slightly, F/M, Slow Burn, exes to friends to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-31
Packaged: 2020-08-19 17:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20213470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonbinarynica/pseuds/nonbinarynica
Summary: Aqua is content with her lifestyle: she's single, she's got three cats to keep her company, and she successfully owns and runs a bakery with two  other business partners. What's not there to enjoy?Turns out, destiny has a funny way of making itself known via the return of an old flame, and as she and Terra begin to fall back into each others’ lives Aqua begins to question whether or not she ever truly moved on.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to Gabby for inspiring me to to the bakery au setting - and another special shoutout to my brain for deciding it wanted to add the extra drama of "they used to date and oh no, they're meeting again for the first time in a long time and Oh No, Now There's Going To Be Feelings Involved Again"
> 
> This is my second terraqua piece I've written, hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> Note: Some tags will be added, and the fic rating may change, as the story progresses chapter by chapter.
> 
> AGES FOR CHARACTERS BOTH INTRODUCED AND MENTIONED:  
Aqua - 27  
Terra - 28  
Ventus - 25  
Eraqus - 55  
Lea - 25  
Isa - 25  
Kairi - 19  
Riku - 21  
Sora & Vanitas - 20  
Roxas & Namine - 20  
Hayner, Pence, & Olette - 18  
Xion - 17

There’s something to be said about destiny, or fate, or whatever your preferred term is, and it’s this: some people believe it exists, that there’s a predetermined outcome for everything you do in life. For others, they believe you set your own path with your decisions, actions, or even the words you speak. And there are some who believe in a bit of both. 

Aqua Sinclair, a bright, spirited, and hardworking woman in her late twenties, is one of the latter - someone who, with a firm moral compass, believes that if you do the right things, and you do them the right way, then life will compensate you fairly enough, and things will turn out the way you want them to. For her, it’s a faith in the idea of perseverance. And right now, she’s happy with where she is in life: single, and running a bakery alongside her partners Lea Hertel and Isa Beck. She’s reached this point through hard work, sheer determination, a support system, and following a lifelong dream, and she isn’t ready to let anything or anyone easily bring her down. With business booming at _ Hearts and Flours Cafe _, Aqua is on top of the world and happy with how things are. 

… Of course, life - or, rather, destiny - has a funny way of bringing the unexpected in right when you, well. Right when you least expect it. And for Aqua, the unexpected will arrive in the form of brown hair and blue eyes, all on a face she hasn’t seen in a long time.

~

Waking up at 4 am on weekdays is tedious, but it’s worth it for being up early enough to start the baking. Aqua arrives at 5:15 on the dot, before the sun has even come up, and as usual is very, very grateful for the invention of coffee as she sets foot inside the cafe. A few moments later, Lea arrives. 

“Mornin’.” He greets Aqua in between yawns, and she greets him in return as she watches him shrug his jacket off. 

“Good morning. Where’s Isa?”

“He’s on his way.” 

“I hope he gets here soon. We need all hands on deck.” Aqua heads around to the back to start food prep, and after a moment Lea calls out to her as he follows behind. “Hey, Aqua.”

She looks up at him. “Yes?”

“You know, that offer… it’s still standing. If you wanna, that is. We’re not forcing you or anything.”

“I appreciate it, but I’m fine. Really. I can look after myself.” Her tone is mild, her gaze fixed on him. 

“I know, but. You live by yourself, and I know you’re a strong woman, independent and all that - which I respect, hell, even admire - but… I also worry sometimes _ because _ you live alone. And Isa and I have that third bedroom…” he trails off. “Plus, he and I live closer to the bakery, so it’s less of a drive for you, and all that. Again, only if you want to.” 

“Lea. You’re sweet, but again I’ll politely decline.” 

“Just… just know that option is always on the table for you. Okay?”

“Thank you. I’ll keep it in mind.”

Four hours pass; 9:00 rolls around and customers have been trickling in all morning. One of her regulars - and a close friend of hers - arrives and orders his usual: a vanilla scone and a large caramel macchiato, hot with extra whip. By the time Aqua serves his order, Ventus is nearly vibrating with energy, and she fixes him with an amused look. “Goodness, Ven, you haven’t even had the caffeine fix yet; what’s got you so excited?”

“Aqua, you’ll never guess who I ran into!”

“Who?” 

“I met an old friend of mine yesterday, and he’s meeting me here! We used to work together. He’s been out of the country for a while now, but he just got back a few days ago, and he’s meeting me here this morning!”

“That’s exciting, I’m happy for you!” Aqua reaches to hand him the scone and drink, and looks over at the sight of another customer walking in … and then freezes, her hands hovering over the counter. 

She knows them. The person who walks in, she’d recognize them anywhere. Her heart thuds in her chest as the guy walks up behind Ventus and addresses him by name. “Ven. How are you?” 

Ventus looks thrilled as he takes his order and then turns around to greet the other guy with a smile that reaches his eyes. “Hi, Terra.”

Terra. That confirms it. Aqua stares in disbelief as both guys turn to look at her - and Terra’s own expression changes to match her own as he meets her gaze. “Aqua?” Terra breathes her name - and god, even his voice still sounds the same after all these years - and Ventus glances between the two of them.

“You know each other?” He sounds ecstatic.

“Um.” Terra chuckles, and Aqua crosses her arms. 

“You could say that.”

“We, uh… she and I used to. You know.”

“We used to date,” Aqua deadpans, and Terra glances at the floor. 

“Yeah, we did,” he mumbles, and Aqua almost feels bad for him. Almost. 

“We dated until he left the country,” she continues. _ Without talking things out with me first _, she adds in her head. 

“Oh. Well, did you two keep in touch?” Oh, Ven. Sweet Ven. Aqua turns her gaze to the blond.

“Not really.” Her gaze then gets fixed on Terra, who looks up from the ground and gives her a small smile while rubbing at the back of his neck.

“It’s, uh. It’s good to see you again, Aqua.”

Aqua could lie and say that she isn’t happy to see him in return. She could lie and say that she’s still angry Terra ever left and broke her heart in the first place. But truthfully? She’s neutral about it; she’s long since moved on from mourning their relationship. 

“It’s nice to see you, too,” she tells Terra, offering a polite smile - because she isn’t a spiteful person. “What’ll you have?”

“What?” Terra blinks.

“To order?”

“Oh. Uhhh…” Terra looks up to scan the menu board behind Aqua. “What do you suggest?”

“The scones are good,” Ventus speaks up, still looking between the other two. He looks like he desperately wants to ask them more questions about _them_, but doesn’t, for which Aqua is grateful - although she has a feeling he’ll confront her later on if he can manage to get her alone. “They’ve got all sorts of flavors- lemon, vanilla, lavender, hell even cranberry-”

“I’ll try the cranberry.” Terra’s smile widens, and something stirs in Aqua, something deep down, sputters awake like a flame being relit. She’s forgotten how nice his smile was.

“Cranberry it is,” she says quickly, forcing the sentiment down - she’s moved on, she can’t afford to be compromised now of all times - and tapping the order into the register screen. “Anything to drink?”

“Uh, sure - black coffee, medium with two sugars.” Of course. Terra always drank his coffee black. In Aqua’s mind’s eye, she sees Terra sitting on one of the stools at her kitchen counter with a mug in hand, with his black coffee with its two sugars, him smiling up at her as she shuffles out of the bedroom into the kitchen - _no. No, no, no._ _Focus, Sinclair_.

“Medium black with two sugars it is,” she says softly, tapping the rest of the order in. “That’ll be ready for you in a moment, and the scone will be right out as well.” Her tone has shifted to a more formal air, and if either Ven or Terra notice the sudden change neither of them say anything on it. 

“Thank you,” Terra tells her, and Aqua gives him a faint nod before watching as he hesitates, like he wants to say more, before finally stepping aside with Ventus after he's paid, to let the customer who’s just walked up behind them place their order.

Another hour or so passes, and after a little while longer Ven and Terra leave - with Terra shooting Aqua another faint smile, and Ven giving her a wave and a friendly goodbye phrase of “see you later, Aqua!” and that’s that. The rest of the afternoon seems to go by in a blur afterwards, with Aqua lost in her own thoughts.

“Hey. Earth to Aqua.” Lea calls her name as they’re closing up shop, and she snaps out of her reverie. “You okay? I’ve never seen you so… unfocused.”

“Am I unfocused?” 

“Yeah.” He’s grinning now, like he’s telling a joke, but when Isa shoots him a look Lea visibly deflates. “Should I not have said that?” 

“No, you’re- you’re fine,” Aqua replies. “I’m sorry. I’m just. I can’t stop thinking about this morning…”

“What happened this morning?” Isa asks quietly, his eyes fixed on Aqua, and she returns the gaze. 

“You know how Ven came in?”

“Yes, he was with another guy. They seemed to be good friends.”

“Yeah,” Lea adds. “Who was the other dude?”

“…” Aqua is quiet for a moment before mumbling “Terra.”

“Sorry?” Lea blinks at her, Isa narrowing his eyes at Aqua in concern beside him.

“You guys remember me telling you about my ex? The one who left the country to travel abroad?”

Isa’s eyes slowly widen, and Lea stares at her in disbelief. “No way. No fuckin’ way,” he says. “What, that was _ him _?” When Aqua nods, he scoffs. “Okay, so. He and Ven are friends?”

“It certainly seemed that way. But it’s no big deal.” Isa opens his mouth to reply, and Lea does the same, both men looking like they want to protest, but Aqua waves them off. “Really, guys. It’s… fine. I’ll be okay. It was just… a surprise to see him again after all these years, is all.” 

Isa nods, but Lea still looks somewhere in between shock and anger. “Aqua, the guy didn’t tell you he was leaving to go abroad until _ two weeks before he left _. And now he’s back, and you're okay with him showing up out of the blue? Especially if he’s friends with your friend?”

“Lea.” Aqua looks at him. “I’m fine.”

“Uh-huh. Your ex shows up again after three years, and you’re okay with it?”

“I’m _ fine _. I moved on from him a long time ago.” 

Lea looks like he’s about to argue with her when Isa intervenes. “Drop it, Lea. If Aqua says she’s okay, she’s okay. She’s a big girl. She can handle herself.” But not even Isa sounds 100% certain.

“... Fine.” Lea crosses his arms, and Aqua shoots Isa a grateful look. 

“_ Thank you _,” she mouths, and he gives her another nod. 

For the next half hour, Lea keeps shooting Aqua side glances that she keeps ignoring. When it’s time to leave for the evening, he stops her in the cafe lobby with a careful hand on her shoulder. “Aqua.”

She looks up at him. “What?” Her tone is a mild indicator she’s irritated, but he ignores it and replies with a steady tone of his own.

“If… if you need anything - if anything comes up, anything at all - please, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me or Isa. We care about you. And… I know you said you’ve moved on from Terra. And I believe you. It’s just that I don’t wanna see you getting hurt. Alright?” 

Her expression softens. “I know, Lea. And I appreciate it.”

“Just making sure you’re aware that Isa and I have your back, you know?”

Aqua nudges him lightly. “You’re a sap.”

“Nah. Just like looking out for friends. That’s all.” 

“Well. Just don’t worry too much.”

“I’ll try not to. No promises, though.”

She smiles up at the redhead. “Have a good night, Lea. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Yeah, you too.” He gives her a wave, and the two part ways.

When Aqua gets home, she’s greeted by three cats - Cadbury, a three year old dark brown tabby, Autumn, a five year old tortoiseshell, and Heidi, a six month old black kitten. “You guys won’t believe who I met again today,” she starts, setting herself down on the couch after feeding them. “I met my ex. Terra. Autumn, you might remember him. And Cadbury, I hadn’t even brought you home yet when he and I were still dating. It was… weird, to see him again. It’s been three years since we last saw each other.” She gives a wry laugh. “Can you believe it? We ended our relationship because he wanted to go traveling abroad, and I wanted to stay here and pursue a bakery dream. I wasn’t willing to give that up, you know?” The cats’ responses come in the form of Heidi jumping up onto the couch and rubbing against her ankle, Autumn staring up at her from her spot on the coffee table, and Cadbury licking his paw nonchalantly. “... Yeah, I know. You three could care less.”

  
Still. She’s happy with the life she’s chosen, Aqua reminds herself. Seeing Terra again this one time won’t change that. It _ shouldn’t _ change that.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning as Aqua is feeding the cats, there’s a knock at the door and when she goes to answer is greeted by a smiling Ventus.

“Morning, Aqua,” he starts off, and she blinks at him.

“Ven. It’s eight o’clock. What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to come by and say hi. I know it’s Saturday, and the bakery is closed, so I thought I’d visit you here.”

“Come on, Ven. That can’t be the only reason. I know you.”

He gives her a sheepish smile. “Alright, fine. I wanted to ask about you and Terra.” Aqua groans, and Ventus holds up a hand. “Come on, Aqua. You gotta tell me everything. It wouldn’t be fair of me to just be kept in the dark about this - not when you and Terra are both my friends, on top of being exes with each other… and besides,” he adds, looking hopeful, “I thought we could talk about it over breakfast? There’s that diner down the street from my place. It’ll be my treat.”

Aqua considers it for a moment. Ventus has a point, she muses. It wouldn’t be fair not to tell him what happened when he knows both of them. On the other hand…

“Ven, I don’t know if that’s entirely a good idea. I mean, yes we’re both your friends, but wouldn’t you rather remain neutral by not knowing anything?”

“I care about both of you. And when I asked Terra about it, he clammed up. Come on, Aqua, I want to know these things. Yes, it might be better for me to remain in blissful, neutral ignorance, but I prefer actually knowing what went down. Let me treat you to breakfast, and you can dish all about you and Terra. What’s the harm in that?”

“… Alright. Come on in, I have to change before we go out.” She steps aside to let Ventus into the apartment, and he immediately makes a beeline for the cats. Aqua watches him with an amused look before she turns and heads for her bedroom, moments later stepping out and laughing when she sees that Ventus has already perched himself on the sofa with all three cats. “I forgot how much they like you.”

He grins up at her. “I didn’t have cats growing up, and where I live it’s no pets allowed.” He scratches Heidi behind the ear before gently nudging her off of his lap, and Cadbury and Autumn as well before getting to his feet and grabbing his jacket. “You ready?”

“As always.” Aqua replies, grabbing her own coat and keys.

~

“So. Tell me what happened.” Ventus cups his chin in his hands and gazes over at Aqua from his side of the diner booth while they wait for their food to arrive. 

“Where do I start? Um. Terra and I met in college. I was a sophomore, he was a junior. We had the same class together and we hit it off, started seeing each other more and more until eventually he finally asked me out.” She smiles a bit, amused at the memory. “Took him about a _ month _ just to do so, all because he said he was too afraid to at first. But lucky for him, I’m a patient woman. “

“You’re one of the most patient people I know.” Ventus nods in agreement.

“Right. So when he eventually did ask me out, I was thrilled, really. And flattered. I’d been reading the signs that he had been wanting to for a while now, and I think I was just happy he finally got the courage to do it. Because of course, I had the same feelings for him. He was… sweet. Funny. Charming in his own way. Made me laugh a lot. And he made me feel safe. We dated for about two years, until one day he told me he was planning on leaving the country to travel abroad, discover the world and broaden his horizons. Which I didn’t mind. At first. I thought he meant that plan was for later down the road. But no. He’d already bought a plane ticket for two weeks out. Mind you, he hadn’t even discussed it with me all the way through. We got into an argument, during which he eventually did ask me if I wanted to go with him - and I had to tell him no, that I still had my dream of opening a bakery here, and did he even care about that? I had thought he’d be around to support me the entire time. The argument got heated and we broke up that same day. Didn’t see or talk to each other again until…” she trails off, glancing down at her hands folded in her lap. “Until yesterday.” 

Ventus stares at her, solemn expression on his face. “Wow. Aqua, I’m sorry. I… I really am.”  
“It’s okay,” Aqua tells him softly, giving him a smile. “That was years ago. I’ve moved on.”

“Have you dated anyone since?”

“No. I’ve been busy running the bakery with Lea and Isa.”

“I see. You know, on second thought, I think I remember Terra telling me about you at one point. I mean, he never gave me a name per se, so I had no way of knowing it was _ you _, but. He talked a lot about the girl he was seeing at the time. Aqua, you should have heard him gush. I think, back then, he was crazy about you.”

Aqua stares at Ventus. Somehow, even though it’s been years and she’s over him, hearing it reiterated how much Terra loved her… hurts. Her smile falters some, but she quickly recomposes herself. “I was crazy about him, too. But… I guess some things just don’t work out in the end. Sometimes people fall together, and then fall apart just like that.”

Ventus looks like he wants to say more, looks like he wants to add something to possibly comfort her, when their food arrives - and in that second Aqua is grateful for the distraction. She and Ventus eat their meals in companionable silence, and even after they’ve finished the two of them sit and continue to talk - this time about other things - work, their social lives, Aqua’s cats. Ventus tells Aqua stories about the baby the couple who live next to him just had, how the kid is just a couple of months old and already one of the cutest babies he’s ever seen. Aqua retaliates with tales of the family who lives down the hall from her - a grandmother, her son and daughter-in-law, and her late teens granddaughter, a sweet redhead named Kairi - and how sometimes they’ll have Aqua over for dinner. They chat for another hour after Ventus pays the bill, and when it’s time to leave he gives Aqua another smile. 

“It was nice to catch up, Aqua. Thanks for letting me treat you to breakfast.”

“No problem, Ven. I enjoyed myself. And it was good to see you, too.” 

~

Back at home, Aqua contemplates her and Ventus’s conversation for a while. It still hurts, oddly enough, having been reminded how right she and Terra had seemed for each other at the time. She glances over at her bookshelf, at the photo album there, and upon remembering that she has photos of him there decides, against her own better judgement, to look through them again. Getting up and crossing the room, Aqua takes the photo album from the shelf and goes back to the couch, curling up and opening the album to take a look. She flips through a few pages until she reaches her early college years. There’s her, her younger brother Riku, and her parents at her high school graduation. There’s her on the first day of classes. Aqua continues a bit further until she finds what she’s looking for: photos of herself and Terra. 

There’s them on their first date; Terra had taken her to an ice rink. In the polaroid photo of the two of them, they’re holding hands while they skate, and Terra is beaming at her while she laughs at something he must have said. The next photo is one of them at a botanical garden, Aqua in a sundress and Terra in a dark grey t shirt and khaki shorts. There’s one of them together at Terra’s college graduation, and also one of them together at Aqua’s. There’s one of their first Christmas together. There’s one of Terra sitting on the very same couch she’s sitting on now, Autumn curled up asleep on his lap. The more and more photos Aqua looks through, the sadder she begins to feel - and she doesn’t even realize it until a tear splashes down onto the plastic sheet covering the photos. “What-” 

It’s then she realizes she’s crying, and Aqua quickly shuts the photo album and sets it aside, reaching up to wipe her own tears away. She shouldn’t be crying. Another glance at the photo album and she tells herself that this was a mistake, that she shouldn’t have looked through it. She and Terra are old news, something that happened a long time ago that she’s moved on from. _Then why does it still hurt?_

It’s right then and there that Aqua is startled by the realization that even though she moved on, she never actually got closure from their relationship, and a part of her wonders, then, if Terra feels the same about the situation - or even whether or not he still gives it any thought whatsoever. Whether he gives _her_ any thought whatsoever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't enjoy making Aqua cry, just so you all know. It pained me to write it as much as it probably pained you all to read it.


	3. Chapter 3

A knock at the door, and Eraqus is greeted by the sight of his son standing on the front porch with a smile on his face and a pizza in hand. “Terra. I heard you were back.” He returns the smile and nods as he steps aside to let Terra into the house. “It’s about time you came to see me.” 

“Cut me some slack, I only got into town five days ago,” Terra replies - though he’s smiling as he says it. “How have things been?”

“Things have been going well here. And how about you? How were your travels?”

“Oh, man, I’ve got some stories to tell you. And-” Terra gestures with the box in his hand, “I thought I’d share them over a pizza. What do you say?”

“I say… welcome home, Terra.” 

The two men sit down at the kitchen table, exchanging stories; Terra of his adventures abroad, and Eraqus of his own life over the past three years. Eraqus tells Terra that he recently retired from his job as a high school teacher, and Terra tells his father that he couldn’t be happier for him. Their conversation continues long after all the pizza slices have been finished, and eventually Eraqus asks him if he’s seen anyone else since his return… and that’s when Terra goes quiet for a moment before responding.

“I, uh. I saw Ven.” He says quietly.

“I remember Ventus. How is he?”

“He’s good. As energetic as ever. And…” Terra trails off, and Eraqus looks concerned.

“What? What is it?”

“The bakery I met him at. Have you heard of _ Hearts and Flours _? It’s a new place, opened up about a year and a half ago.”

“No, but the name certainly sounds clever.”

“Well. It’s run by Aqua.”

“Aqua… now, where do I know that name?”

Terra glances up at his father, blue eyes showing a hint of melancholy. “My ex, the one I was dating up until I left.”

Eraqus nods after a moment, his own expression pensive. “I remember her. Kind. Pretty. Probably one of the smartest women I’ve ever known, too.”

“Yeah. She was pretty great. And she not only runs the bakery but also works there, too. It's her owning it, and two guys. I haven’t met either of them, but Ven told me about them. Apparently he and Aqua are good friends, too - have been for a while now.”

“I see. Did she say anything to you when you saw her?”

“We spoke. Briefly. Just long enough for her to take my order. And, if I’m honest, I think I was… more happy to see her than I was embarrassed. I mean, yeah it was awkward for a bit, but dad. My god, she’s still as beautiful as she ever was. Same personality too, from what I could tell in just those few moments we talked. I think… even though we broke up, I think I missed her. And I just didn’t know it until I saw her again yesterday.”

Eraqus’s brow furrows. “Terra. That’s dangerous territory to tread; you two broke up for a reason.”

“Yeah, and that reason was because I was an idiot. Listen, I thought about it - I thought about _ her _ \- all day yesterday after I left the bakery, and while I don’t regret traveling I do regret leaving her the way I did. I should have waited, I should have thought things through more carefully. And because I didn’t, I lost one of the best things to ever happen to me - if not _ the _ best. I loved her, and… seeing her again makes me think I still do.” 

“Terra-”  
  
“I’m serious. I don’t think she and I should have ended things, at least not the way we did. I messed up. I admit it. But now I’m back in the country, and I think, if she’ll have me back, I want to try again. Trust me on this one, I had all of yesterday afternoon and evening to think about it.”

“Have you talked to Ventus about this?”

“No. But I will, see what he thinks about it. After all, he told me he’s Aqua’s best friend now - maybe he can even help me out.”

Eraqus scans his son’s face, expression still as pensive as it was moments prior. “Well. You seem to have your mind made up. I only pray this doesn’t end up getting you hurt again.”

“Even if she doesn’t want me back, I’ll… I’ll be fine.” Terra gives Eraqus an attempt at a smile, not wanting his father to worry about him too much. “I promise.”

“I only ask that you be careful, Terra. It’s never easy getting back with someone - much less trying to do so in the first place. And it’s been years since you were even with her; you don’t know how much she’s changed.”

“… Yeah, I know. Still. I just. I feel guilty about what happened. I don’t think I should have left on the note that I did, you know? ‘Cause I’ll be honest: I missed her even while I was away. That’s probably why I’m just now realizing I never truly moved on; even if she doesn’t take me back, I still want to at least figure out a way to make amends, see if she’ll at least forgive me. And if I can get Ven to help me out with that too, that would be even better. I’m going to at least try. I have to.” He looks at Eraqus with determination in his eyes, and the older man nods to Terra.

“Well… if I cannot change your mind, then I wish you the best of luck in this endeavor.”

“Thanks.”

“One more thing, Terra.”

“Yeah?”

“While I don’t entirely agree with you on trying to win Aqua back, please understand that it’s not for the reason that I never approved of her. As I said, she was a wonderful woman - and right for you at the time. I’m only looking out for you and giving you a warning in advance not to be disappointed if this doesn’t work out. I want you to know that.”

“I know.” 

“Good. You’re my son, I don’t want you getting hurt.”

~

After leaving Eraqus’s place, Terra calls Ventus and anxiously waits for him to pick up. As soon as the other does so and greets him on the other end of the line, Terra immediately asks if he's free for the evening.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m free. Do you wanna meet up?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. You wanna meet me at _ Hearts and Flours _ again, or-”

“No. Not there.” Terra says quickly. “I can’t talk to you about this if we go there.”

“Talk about what?” 

Terra rubs the bridge of his nose. “Aqua.”  
  
There’s silence on the other end of the call for several seconds, before Ventus replies with a repeat of Aqua’s name, his tone questioning. “Aqua? What about her?”

“Listen, Ven, I just need a favor from you - and I’ll ask you for it when I see you in person. Can you meet me at the Starbucks on Oak street?”

“… How soon?”

“Within the next hour or so?”

“No problem. I’ll be there.”

“Thanks.” Terra hangs up and inhales, telling himself that it’ll be fine, that with Ven’s help he might have a shot at this. That, just like he told Eraqus, even if Aqua doesn’t take him back, he might still be able to mend things between them and get back in her good graces. That there’s a chance she’ll at least forgive him. A man can hope, right? 

~

"So. You said you wanted to talk to me about Aqua…?" Ventus cuts right to the point, sipping his macchiato and staring at Terra, gaze unwavering.

"Yes." 

"And that you wanted to ask a favor of me?" 

"Yes."

"What is it?"

"I need you to help me win Aqua back." Right to the point.

Ventus chokes on his drink, spluttering a bit before he sets it down on the table. "You _ what _ now?"

"I'm still in love with her, Ven. Even after all this time. It took seeing her again to make me realize that."

"Terra, she… she told me herself she's moved on from what you two had, what you two went through." When the brunet looks dejected at his words, Ventus backpedals some. "I mean, that doesn't mean I can't help you try, but. No guarantees, man." 

"If she doesn't take me back, I at least want to try and earn her forgiveness," Terra says quietly, glancing downwards at his own drink, and here it comes; Ventus sits patiently with the realization and understanding that Terra is finally going to open up to him about what happened - that now he can hear the story from both sides. "Ven, I fucked up. I…" he takes a deep breath before continuing. "I'm sure she told you what happened?"

"Aqua said you two had been dating for about two years before you decided you wanted to travel, and it wasn't what she wanted, herself, so the two of you had a fight and broke up two weeks before you left the country."

"That… yeah. That pretty much sums it up," Terra says, looking both sheepish and ashamed. "But there's more to it. The thing is, Ven, I didn't want to leave to travel to see the world. I wanted to leave because I got _ scared _. We'd been going steady for two years, right? Most smart couples, you know what usually happens with them around that time?"

"What?"

"The big question getting popped. Marriage. Full-time commitment. And yeah, you'd think that two years would already be commitment in itself. And for Aqua and I, it was in its own way. We clicked together so _ well _ , Ven, I swear. But then… I don't know. I got scared, started to feel the pressure of all that oncoming long-term stuff and… it scared me. Hell, I know she loved me but one thing I've never told anyone is this: half the time I was still trying to convince myself that I'd gotten so lucky with her, that she was so far out of my league that she had to realize it by now. And that, that alone? I guess it came down to me eventually telling myself that she didn't have to just settle for me, you know? So… I bailed." He looks up at Ventus then, looking truly ashamed. "Shit, Ven, I bailed so hard and so fast and I couldn't even give her the full truth. I would have followed her anywhere, but a part of me was too… too scared that she'd wake up one day and realize she could do better. So I turned tail like a coward, and left - telling myself it was for the better. That _ she deserved _ better."

Ventus looks as pensive as Eraqus had, and it almost makes Terra want to kick himself. "Terra… you never told me any of this back then, when you were telling me about her in the first place."

"I know."

"That's some heavy stuff. Have you been carrying that around all these past three years?"

"… Yeah. Yeah, I have."

"Jeez." Ventus takes another sip of his drink before going on. "… You know what you need to do? Before you even think of asking her to take you back? Tell her this. All of it."

"I-"

"I'm serious, Terra." 

Ventus doesn't sound angry, just resolute, and Terra is grateful the blond isn't as deprecating towards him as he is to himself. "… You're right, Ven. I owe her that much. I owe her the truth." He slumps in defeat in his chair. "'I want to travel, and see the world.' Sounds better than 'Oh hey, I can see myself marrying you and that scares me because I think you'll decide one day I'm not the right man for you after all.' Stupid. Stupid," he mutters.

"Don't be so hard on yourself, Terra. Yeah, you got scared. Yeah, you should have given her the truth. But it isn't like you had bad intentions. You just… went about it the wrong way, is all. There are better ways to tell a person you're scared of the future."

Terra looks up at him again. "When did you grow up so much, Ven?"

"Hey." Ventus tilts his chin up a bit, proud and offering Terra a faint smile. "I'm not that goofy kid you knew fresh out of his teens anymore."

"Yeah, you're right. You're not. And I'm proud of you for it. Though you're still a bit goofy."

"Am not." He sticks his tongue out at Terra before laughing, and it's infectious; Terra cracks a smile, himself, already feeling better some. 

"Thanks, Ven."

"You know I've got your back, Terra."


	4. Chapter 4

Over the next couple of days, Aqua tries to distract herself from any thoughts regarding Terra by focusing on work. She’s quieter than usual, diving headfirst into putting all her attention on both her customers and her baking, and at first neither Lea or Isa say anything to her until after four days have passed; after they’ve closed up and are leaving for the evening, Lea pulls her aside just like he had days prior. 

“What’s goin’ on with you?” He asks, sounding concerned, and Aqua chews her bottom lip nonchalantly. 

“Nothing.” She lies. 

“Oh please, you’re barely talking to me or Isa unless it has to do with work stuff. Seriously, Aqua, I know you love this job but come on - you’ve never been _ this _ serious about it all. Something’s up. I mean for god’s sakes you’ve been working so hard it doesn’t seem like you’ve given yourself a break the last few days or so. ”

“I’m fine.”

The redhead steps in front of her, crossing his arms with a worried frown while Isa pauses just a few feet away, listening. “Aqua. Talk to us. Please.”

“It’s nothing. I just want to take care of things here at the bakery.”  
  
“Uh-huh. When was the last time you got some proper sleep?”

“I- what?”

“The last time you slept right. When was that?”

“Lea-”

“Not to be blunt, but. You look exhausted. Tell you what - you take tomorrow off. Isa and I will run things here.”

“Lea-” Aqua repeats his name, but he cuts her off by holding up a hand.

“No ifs ands or buts about it, Aqua. You need to rest. I don’t know what’s going on inside that head of yours-” _ probably that ex of hers _, he thinks to himself, “- but you need to take some time for yourself. So don’t come in tomorrow, take the day to rest. Treat yourself to something nice. Just… give yourself a break, yeah?”

Aqua looks over at Isa. “Are you in on this?”

“Of course. We already discussed it.” He takes a step closer towards the two of them. “Lea and I are concerned, Aqua. As he said, you need a break. I’ve never seen you push yourself as hard as you’ve been doing lately.”

His tone is calmer than Lea’s; Aqua knows Lea isn’t angry with her, per se, just determined to convince her that he and Isa are both right. Which they are. She could use a break. And yet…

“Are you sure you two will be okay running the bakery by yourselves?”

“Sure,” Lea replies. “It’ll be no problem at all. Right, Isa?”

“Of course not. Take tomorrow off, Aqua, and leave it to us. One day won’t, as Lea put it, be a problem for us. We’ll manage just fine. And you, just take the day for yourself.” It’s less a request and more a statement that, just like Lea, Isa is unwilling to budge from his stance on the matter.

“Fine.” She gives in, and Lea looks a little less concerned now and more relieved.

“Alright. We’ll take care of everything. I mean, we’ve been business partners for over a year now - you trust us, right?”

“Of course I trust you guys. I’m just sorry that you feel like you have to-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Lea tells her, and Aqua chews her lip again. “Go home, get some rest, and Isa and I will see you in two days.”

“… Thank you both.” She says softly, and the redhead nods.

“No problem. Isa and I have got this business stuff down pat. Got it memorized?”

Aqua nods, while Isa shakes his head in mild amusement at Lea’s last three words.

The two men say their goodbyes and goodnights to Aqua before heading back to their apartment, and Aqua goes home to her own, to the company of the cats - where, once she’s in bed, it takes her several hours just to fall asleep.

~ 

When she wakes up the next morning, it’s to the realization that she’s overslept and Aqua quickly bolts upright and nearly jumps out of bed to shower and get dressed before she remembers her promise to Lea and Isa. Take the day for herself to unwind and relax. Unfortunately, relaxing right off the bat doesn’t come easy that morning for Aqua; when she goes to the fridge to grab something to make herself breakfast, it dawns on her that she needs to go grocery shopping. “Shit.” New plan: she’ll feed the cats, shower, get dressed, go out to eat, go to the store to buy food, and _ then _ take the rest of the day for herself to relax and unwind. For Aqua, a productive day also counts as a relaxing one; what Isa and Lea don’t know won’t hurt them. 

She’s expecting things to go the way she plans - breakfast out, grocery shopping, home. Unfortunately for Aqua, the universe has other plans in store. 

While at the store, Aqua turns the corner with her cart and nearly collides with the person turning the corner at the same time. “Shit, I’m sorry-” she looks up and pales. Terra. 

“It’s okay,” he says quickly. “Uh. Hi, Aqua.” 

“What are you doing here?” She blurts out without thinking, and Terra raises an eyebrow, somewhere between exasperated and amused.

“Picking up some groceries,” he says slowly, like he’s trying to make her understand that it’s a completely natural thing to do.

“Of-of course,” Aqua says quickly. “Sorry. I just - I wasn’t expecting to run into you… literally.” 

Terra shakes his head, smiling now. “It’s all good.” 

It’s then that a guy with black hair and blue eyes walks up and positions himself to stand next to Terra. “Hey, so they were out of the brand of chicken noodle soup that we li-” he stops mid sentence when he notices Aqua, and flashes her a charming smile. “Hi, I’m Zack.”

“Oh, Aqua, this is Zack - my roommate. Zack, meet Aqua.”

“Nice to meet you.” She nods to the darker haired brunet.

“You, too. Terra’s told me a little about you.” 

“He… has…?”

Terra clears his throat, elbowing Zack sharply in the side. “Just that I saw you again the other day at _ Hearts and Flours _,” he tells Aqua, giving an awkward smile. 

“Oh, uh, yeah - I think it’s pretty cool that you own your own bakery,” Zack adds, scowling at Terra for elbowing him before he goes back to smiling at Aqua. “How long have you owned it for?”

“About a year and a half, now,” she explains. “I run it with two business partners.” 

“Oh, yeah, Terra told me that, too. Said he heard about them from his other friend, Ven. Lea and Isa, right?”

“Those are their names, yes.”

Zack looks between Terra and Aqua. “It’s weird to think you two dated for as long as you did, and that now you’re-”

“_ Really _, Zack?” Terra scowls at him.

“What? I was just about to say that it’s interesting that after three years, you’re both seeing each other again for the second time in like four days.”

“Aqua, I’m sorry for him-”

“Hey, now-” Zack starts to protest, but Terra interrupts him a second time to address Aqua again.

“I swear I’m not like, stalking you or anything, that first time was me going off of Ven’s recommendation for a good bakery-”

“It’s okay, Terra.” Aqua cuts him off. “If it’s any consolation, I agree with Zack. I think it _ is _ interesting that we’re seeing each other a second time within a week.”  
  
Zack gives a low whistle, and Terra glances at him. “Could you give us a moment?” 

Zack claps Terra on the shoulder before heading off in another direction, and Terra turns his gaze to Aqua while rubbing at the back of his neck. “Okay, so. Aqua… would you be okay with me, I don’t know, taking you out to dinner or something? So we can talk about-” _ what I did, and how I ruined our relationship to begin with _, “us? I feel like I owe you an explanation as to why things went the way they did on my end back then.” He looks at Aqua, hopeful but at the same time ready for her to reject him, Ventus’s words about her having already moved on echoing in his head.

Aqua hesitates for a moment before replying - and her response then is a split second decision to throw caution to the wind. “Meet me at Vitello’s tonight at seven. You still like Italian food, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Just know this: it _ won’t _ be a date. It will be us, sitting down to dinner as two adults to discuss something that never got the closure it deserved. Okay?”

That’s as good as she can give him, Terra realizes, and that’s as good as he’s willing to take from her in this moment. Any more and he feels he’d be pushing his luck. “Okay. It’s not a date.”

“I’m serious, Terra.”  
  
“I know. Trust me, I know.” He gives her a soft smile. “Still, I appreciate you saying yes.”

She doesn’t know what to say to him in response, then, and instead merely nods. “I’ll see you tonight, Terra.”

“See you, Aqua.”

When she’s finally walked away and is out of both sight and earshot of Terra, Aqua’s heart starts to race. _ Oh god, what the _ ** _hell_ ** _ did I just agree to? _ She takes a deep breath, trying not to panic there in the middle of the grocery aisle. _ Calm down, breathe - like you told him, it isn’t a date. It isn’t a date! Just the two of you talking things out. … And possibly putting it all behind you. _

When he goes to find Zack, Terra looks terrified and Zack frowns at him. “You okay, man? What happened with Aqua? Where is she?” He glances behind Terra, like he’s looking for Aqua to be there, before looking back to the other brunet. 

“She -” Terra laughs nervously. “I asked her to dinner, to patch things up between us. And she said yes.”

“That’s great!” Zack claps him on the shoulder again, looking pleased. “Man, from what you told me things ended on a pretty sour note between you two, huh? It’ll be good to bury the hatchet once and for all, put all that heartbreak and sad stuff behind you guys.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it will.” All Terra can hope for for that evening is Aqua allowing him to give her the full truth this time - even if it will hurt him to do so - and her forgiving him. Because god knows she didn’t actually deserve it, he realizes now, whether he thought he was trying to do her right at the time or not. It just wasn’t fair of him. 

~

As soon as she’s home, Aqua is greeted by the sight of Kairi returning to her family’s apartment after a walk. “Hi Aqua." The younger woman says brightly, offering her a smile, and Aqua returns it lightly as she balances her single bag of groceries in one hand and unlocks her door with the other.

“Hey, Kairi.”

“What are you doing home? I thought you work today?”

“Lea and Isa made me promise I’d take the day off.”

“What’s wrong? Are you feeling alright?” Kairi asks as she follows Aqua into her apartment. Aqua doesn't mind the intrusion so much, not when she and Kairi are as close friends as they are.

“It’s… stuff with my ex,” Aqua says lightly, carefully choosing her words as she sets the paper bag on the counter and starts putting away her perishables.

“Terra?”

“You remember him?”

“Of course I remember him. Tall, brown hair. Handsome.” Kairi grins, before her expression falters. “The fallout you two had was… bad, I remember. Something about him leaving you, right?” Kairi is a smart girl, intuitive, and it pains Aqua to burden the redhead with her own troubles more so than it pains her to talk about them in the first place. 

“Yeah.”

“So… what about him?”

“He’s back in the country, now. And you know how I’m friends with Ventus?”

“Roxas and Namine’s older brother?” Aqua remembers that Kairi hangs out with a friend group that not only includes herself, Riku, and their friend Sora, but Sora's twin brother Vanitas, Sora and Vanitas's younger sister Xion, Ventus’s younger twin siblings, Roxas and Namine, and their friends Hayner, Pence, and Olette. They’re all good kids, and Aqua has always felt a sort of familial - almost maternal - bond with at least a few of them; if you don’t already count Riku being her brother. 

“Yes, him. It turns out he’s also friends with Terra, and this past weekend Ven brought him to my bakery without realizing the two of us were exes.”

“Oh. Yikes.” Kairi looks sympathetic, and Aqua hums in agreement as she goes to put away the non-perishables.

“That’s not all. Just now, at the grocery store, I ran into Terra a second time. And…” she trails off, running her fingers anxiously through her hair. “He asked me if I wanted to talk things out over dinner.”

“A _ date _?” Kairi looks stunned.

“No, not a date. Just… talking.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said yes.”

Kairi’s eyes widen as she stares at Aqua. “I thought you moved on from it all. Why would you want to talk about what happened? And with _ him _?”

“Because,” Aqua starts, blue eyes meeting blue, “he and I… we never got _ closure _. We just ended things after the argument we had, and that was that. And even if I’m telling myself I’ve moved on, closure is always nice to have in the end. And again, this isn’t a date - just two adults discussing what happened, what went wrong in our relationship.”

Kairi crosses her arms, tilting her head at Aqua as her eyes scan the older woman’s face. “You’re telling yourself that?”

“Telling myself what?”

“That you’ve moved on. Instead of saying “I _ have _ moved on,'' you're saying “I’m _ telling myself _ I’ve moved on.” Is there a difference there?”

“… Yes. No. I don’t know.” 

Kairi then reaches for Aqua’s hand, leading her to the couch and sitting down with the other woman. “Talk to me?” She whispers, and Aqua smiles weakly at her. “Come on, you're like the older sister I never had - so tell me what’s on your mind. Tell me what’s really bothering you about all this.”

Aqua hesitates before taking a deep breath - and letting everything spill. She recounts her feelings way back when, during the time she and Terra initially broke up. She tells Kairi about the photo album, even taking it off the shelf and showing it to her. And finally, after about ten or fifteen minutes, Aqua admits to Kairi that seeing Terra again two separate times this past week has made her doubt the fact of whether or not she ever truly moved on. Through the entire explanation, Kairi is quiet and attentive, and when Aqua has finished speaking the redhead glances up from the photo album in her lap and meets Aqua’s gaze again. 

“Man, none of this sounds easy to deal with,” Kairi tells her, and Aqua laughs.

“It really isn’t,” she admits. “Adult life is already some bullshit to handle, and then stuff like this comes along and you think you’re ready, you think you’re able to handle it, and it still knocks you on your ass.” She realizes she’s tearing up, and reaches up to dab at her eye with her sleeve.

“Is there anything I can do? Or Ven?” Kairi asks softly, and Aqua turns back to her and shakes her head.

“I don’t know if there is. I think… Terra and I just have to work through this on our own.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kairi says sternly, and Aqua stares at her. “What I mean is that you have people who care about you. People who, if you need them to, will be there to pick up the pieces if you fall. So… if talking things out with Terra doesn’t quite work out the way you’re expecting - or hoping - you’ll still have friends all there for you.”

“What about Ventus?”

“What about him?”

Aqua gives a wry smile. “If this whole thing goes south, it would almost be the equivalent of Terra and I getting a divorce, and him having to choose a parent to live with; he’s both my friend and Terra’s, and if Terra and I talking to each other goes wrong and we end up being hostile again, then… I wouldn’t want Ven to have to choose between us.”

“I think he’ll be fine. I think it’ll be fine.” Kairi sounds as confident as Aqua - who has never wavered from her confidence in anything until now - wishes she could feel in that moment, and as the two women sit together Aqua realizes, with that familiar maternal pride, that the little girl she used to babysit is now growing up into one of the smartest women she's ever met - and she admires and respects Kairi for it. 

"Look at you, giving me all this grown up advice," she muses, sniffling as she wipes at her cheek, and Kairi squeezes Aqua's other hand before pulling away.

"It's as I said. You're like my big sister, and you've always looked out for me when I needed it. So I do what I can for you in return. And if you ever need any backup with kicking ass…" Kairi's tone indicates she's only half serious; her smile betrays her words, and Aqua laughs softly.

"Thank you, kiddo."

"Any time." Kairi nods, looking determined, before shifting on the couch to criss-cross her legs and face Aqua. "So. When are you going to dinner with Terra?" 

"Tonight, at seven."

"Where at?"

"Vitello's."

"Ooh. Okay. You have to wear something super nice."

"Kairi, remember I said it's not a date-"

"But you still have to wear something nice. Is it sit down?"

"Yes."

"Definitely wear something nice - but nothing that says you're trying too hard."

"Can I ask why?"

Kairi smirks faintly, like she knows something Aqua doesn't. "Because even if you're meeting him just to talk, you still have to look your best. Show him that you're not a wreck without him." 

“That’s… a really good point, actually.”

Kairi beams at her, somehow managing to look both smug and flattered at the same time. “I can help you pick something out if you’d like.”

“That would be nice.”

“That settles it: I’ll text my parents to tell them I’m with you, and then Operation: Blow Terra’s Mind is a go.”

“Kairi.”

“Kidding, on the operation name part.” She grins at Aqua sheepishly, and Aqua shakes her head before tapping Kairi’s nose affectionately.

“You’re funny.” She says, not unkindly. 


	5. Chapter 5

After spending the afternoon sorting through Aqua’s closet and mixing and matching different wardrobe items together - with Kairi gently teasing Aqua about her taste in simple fashion - the two women come to a deliberate decision on Aqua’s attire for dinner with Terra that evening: a light blue blouson dress with a simple black choker and silver lace up platform heels; according to Kairi, black goes with anything, and blue and silver are Aqua’s most flattering colors, and Aqua takes her word for it.

When 5:30 rolls around Aqua gets changed, and fifteen minutes later is standing in front of her bedroom mirror, fidgeting anxiously with her choker. From behind her, Kairi takes a step closer and smiles. 

“You look really pretty.”

Aqua turns around, giving the redhead an anxious look. “Are you sure this isn’t too much? I mean, again-”

“It’s not a date.” Kairi repeats. “No, you look fine. Not too much so that you look like you’re trying, and not too little so you look like you don’t care at all. It’s all about first impressions, right? … At least, first impressions again after a long time. Three years, right?”

“Mhmm.” Despite her agreement, Aqua still looks anxious. “Kairi, what if this is a bad idea after all?”

“Aqua, you can’t back out now. Go get that closure you were talking about. Talk things out with him. It’s what you need - honestly, it’s what both of you need.” 

“You’re right.” She takes a deep breath and Kairi nods, moving to sit herself cross-legged on Aqua’s bed. 

“_ And _ I was right,” the redhead grins, “about blue and silver being your colors. Seriously, you look great; even if it’s not a date you’re still going to knock him dead.”

“Thank you.” Aqua smoothes her dress down, then looks back up at Kairi. “Vitello’s is across town, so I’m going to head out in about fifteen minutes or so.”

“Okay!” Kairi beams at her, and then after a moment her expression softens and she speaks again, softly this time. “And hey, whatever happens between you and Terra, you’ve got this. You’ve always been this tough, kickass woman who’s held her own and come out on top every single time and I’ve always looked up to you for it. So this? Even if it doesn’t work out, I know you’ll handle it as strongly as you always have with other things - and I’ll have your back through it all. Okay?” She grins up at Aqua.

Aqua returns the grin with a faint, soft smile of her own. “You already have my back,” she says lightly, and Kairi nods.

“You know it.”

The next fifteen minutes pass and Aqua sends Kairi home - not without one last bout of encouragement from the redhead - and heads out. The entire car ride to the restaurant, Aqua keeps repeating to herself what Kairi told her: she’s got this. She’s got this. She and Terra are just going to talk. She’s got this. She’s got this. It isn’t a date, and _ she’s got this. _

~

At 7:00 on the dot, Terra arrives at the restaurant and spots Aqua at one of the tables near the entrance. In a dark red long sleeve henley and black jeans, compared to Aqua’s attire he feels underdressed - then reminds himself that it’s not a date; still, just the sight of Aqua in that dress alone is almost enough to take his breath away. She’s as gorgeous as ever, and once again there’s that tightness in his chest proving he’s still as in love with her as he ever was. The brunet approaches the table and smiles at Aqua. “Is this seat taken?” He jokes lightly, placing his hand on the back of the chair across from her, and she glances up at him.

“Hey, Terra.”

“Hey.” He clears his throat as he takes a seat, taking in her appearance. “You, uh, you look pretty.”

“Thank you.”

They sit in silence for a moment, before Terra picks up a menu, scanning the pages for what he wants to eat, and then places his order when their waiter arrives, Aqua doing the same. While they wait for their food to arrive, casual conversation is shared until they can finally stop beating around the bush after they’ve finished eating. At best, the conversation is a stall to talk about what they really came here to discuss.

“So, let’s talk business,” Aqua says. “After three years, we owe each other that much.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Or, rather - I owe _ you _ that much.” Terra says quietly.

“Terra…”

“I owe you a full explanation, Aqua. I owe you the truth as to why I ever left you.”

“You wanted to travel, and I had a different dream. It just… didn’t work out between us.”

“No. It didn’t. But that was on _ me _, and the reason wasn’t really because I wanted to travel. That was just an excuse - and a sorry one, now that I look back on it.”

“What are you talking about?”

Terra pauses for a long, long moment before he finally admits the truth. “Aqua. I got scared.”

… What do you mean?”

“I mean that I saw us being long-term. I saw a future with you. And that terrified me. But what terrified me even more is the fact that I was so afraid of the possibility of you waking up one day, even after we’d gotten married down the road - and believe me, I wanted to marry you -, and deciding that you could have done a lot better than to settle for someone like me. I was… afraid you would decide you were too good for me. And that alone was enough to turn me into a coward, a coward who decided to leave and break your heart before you could break mine.”

Aqua, who’s been quiet the whole minute Terra’s been speaking, finally replies. “Are you serious?”

“Yes,” he admits. “And I’m ashamed of it, ashamed of how I viewed things back then. My perspective was so skewed by my own fear of things not working out, that I destroyed any chance of us having a future before we could even reach that point. I’m… I’m so sorry, Aqua.”

She’s tearing up, now, as she meets Terra’s gaze. “Terra,” and her voice breaks on the two syllables, “you have to have known that I _ loved _ you.”

“Aqua…” 

She sniffles, and a tear slides down her cheek; she wipes it away. “Did you _ really _ think I wouldn’t have chosen you over anyone else?" And her voice sounds so wrecked, so choked with emotion, that Terra feels his chest tighten at the sound. "I loved you _so much_. You were my best friend back then. What was it, exactly?” And if her tone then borders on harsh, that’s neither here nor there. “Was it the pressure of that long-term future? Because yes, I wanted us to be together for the rest of our lives. I _ saw _ us being together for the rest of our lives. But I also would have been willing to wait for as long as it took you, until _ you _ were ready. And you decided you were afraid of me abandoning you when we’d already had two years’ worth of a relationship behind us? I mean, what in god’s name were you thinking?” She sounds heartbroken, and Terra is already kicking himself for it.

“I… I wasn’t,” he murmurs. 

“I really don’t think you were,” she retorts, and there it is - there’s that sharp wit and intellect of hers making itself known. “Again: I loved you. With _ all I had in me _, and more. And you just…” she trails off, wiping at her cheek again as more tears fall, and glancing away from Terra so he doesn’t have to see it.

“Hey. Look at me, please.” He’s tearing up, now, too, and at the sound of his tone Aqua hesitates - god knows she doesn’t want to have to see the expression on his face, desperate and probably as heartbroken as she is. “Please.” He repeats, softer and pleading, and she finally turns back to him. “I’m so sorry. If… if it’s any consolation, I’m - I’m still as in love with you now as I was then.” He gives her a faint smile, and she gives a weak laugh.

“Terra,” she starts, and at her tone his smile falters some, “I’ve moved on. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. Because I don’t… I don’t know if I’m willing, or ready, to try again, if that’s what you’re about to propose. When you left three years ago, it took me months just to stop thinking about what had happened - what we’d said, what we’d done and how we’d fought that last night I saw you… even the idea that _ I’d _ somehow messed up. And believe me,” she laughs wryly through her tears, “I did blame myself at first. Told myself that maybe, just maybe, I had only been too selfish, that I still could have gone traveling with you and that my bakery dream could have waited until we were done with that. But no, no, you asked me if I wanted to go with you and I still said no, and that alone was enough to make me wonder, and blame myself, on the fact that maybe I’d also messed up on my end. That I had, somehow, pushed you away. And here you are telling me that you were the one doing the latter instead.”

She’s hit the proverbial nail on the head, Terra thinks to himself, and he hates himself for it, for all of the above. Seeing her come to this realization of how badly _ he _ fucked up, for her to be putting the pieces together and for him to see it breaking her heart, it’s enough to ruin him. It’s all his fault. “Aqua… if there’s anything I can do to fix it, please tell me.”

“What you can do is you can give me time to think about… this. About us,” she tells him, and he nods slowly.

“Of course.” Even though it wrecks him, breaks his heart just to agree to it, Terra knows that’s the least he can do for Aqua, considering everything he’s already done to hurt her. If this will help mend things, he’ll do it a thousand times if needed. “Just… please understand I am sorry.” He says quietly, meeting Aqua’s gaze, and she smiles sadly.

“I know you are. I know _ you _. But after hearing the truth, I just need time. I don’t know if I’m ready to forgive you yet or not.”

“… Okay.” Terra is smart enough to know that’s the best answer she can give him, and also that it’s the best he deserves until she’s decided otherwise. Because regardless of whether or not she’s telling the truth about having moved on, the choice to forgive him is entirely up to Aqua; god knows he hasn’t forgiven himself. 

After they both leave, Terra goes home and takes the longest shower he’s had in months, drowning his own tears in the shower spray, and Aqua goes home and doesn’t fall asleep until she’s laid awake for hours in thought. Around three am or so, Aqua realizes that she missed Terra. Realizes that her bed feels empty all over again without him - and that alone makes her even more upset. Because she can’t forgive him, not right off the bat. Something like that takes time and thought, whether it’s a week or several, or even months. She doesn’t know how long it will be until she’s ready to forgive him - or even if she will at all.


	6. Chapter 6

Morning comes, and after the decision to stay home - she tossed and turned all night, and barely got any legitimate sleep at all - Aqua decides to call Lea and tell him everything. He’s understanding and sympathetic, and reassures Aqua that he and Isa will take care of things at the bakery for the day. Then around ten o’clock, upon realizing she’s still at home Kairi visits her apartment to check up on her. When she asks how the dinner with Terra went, Aqua tells her everything Terra had told her. Seeing Aqua both angry and hurt is enough to break Kairi’s own heart, but she’s determined to make the right call.

“What are you doing?” Aqua asks as she watches Kairi pull out her phone. 

“I’m telling Riku he needs to come see you.”

Riku isn’t aware of the current state of things, Aqua realizes. He doesn’t know what’s been happening lately in her life. She also realizes that he’ll be upset once he finds out - and she starts to protest.

“Kairi, that’s not necessary. I don’t want to get him involved, he’ll only worry about me.” 

“Nonsense. He's your brother, and I’m texting him to get his butt over here.”

“Kairi.” Aqua fixes her with a knowing look, and the redhead surrenders a guilty smile.

“Okay, fine. I’m texting Sora, too.”

“Why?”

“Because if Riku and I know, then he gets to know too. You know he hates to be out of the loop.” 

Aqua drags her fingers through her hair with a sigh, somewhere in between exasperated and pleased that she’s got these kids looking out for her.

“Aaand there.” Kairi holds her phone out for Aqua to see the text she’s sent. It’s a message to the group chat she’s in with Riku and Sora, and it reads _ emergency meeting at Aqua’s, get here ASAP. _

Half an hour later Riku arrives with Sora in tow, the two of them greeting Kairi and Aqua with consecutive hello’s and concerned looks. 

“What’s this emergency meeting about?” Riku asks, glancing at his sister. “Is everything alright?”  
Kairi points to the sofa. “Sit,” she says, and Riku and Sora do as instructed. “Aqua has something to say. Aqua, you wanna start or should I?”

“I’ll start,” the older woman says quietly. She pauses for a moment, collecting her thoughts for continuing. “It’s about my ex, Terra.”

Riku’s brow furrows. “The one who up and left you to go traveling?”

Aqua is tempted to snap at him, ask why everyone has to keep reiterating that fact, but she tells herself it isn’t Riku’s fault; it’s no one currently in this room’s fault. “Yes, him. He’s… back in town, now, and we’ve seen each other a few times since he returned.”

Riku’s frown deepens. “What, you’re dating him again?”

“No!” Aqua cries, and Riku and Sora both look at her in mild alarm while Kairi merely shakes her head at them lightly. “No,” she repeats, quieter and softer this time. “I mean we ran into each other twice… and the third time was us having dinner together. … Last night, in fact.”

“So, a date,” Riku repeats, and Kairi once again shakes her head. “Oh, come on, Kairi.” He sounds exasperated. “That sounds like a date to me. Really, Aqua, if it were me, I wouldn’t be having dinner with the same guy who broke my heart in the first place. Besides, didn’t you decide a long time ago you were over him?”

Aqua glances down. “I did,” she murmurs. “But it’s more complicated than that, Riku.”

“Enlighten me,” he tells her, and Aqua chews the inside of her cheek.

“It wasn’t a date. We were getting together to talk things over. To talk about what happened between us. What went wrong.”

“And?” Sora finally speaks up, having been uncharacteristically quiet; Aqua supposes it’s a sign he’s been wanting to keep the focus on her, and why they’re here this morning. She’s grateful.

“And… he told me the truth as to why he left.” Aqua explains to the boys what Terra said to her last night, and by the end of it, Riku has his arms crossed intently and Sora looks shocked.

“He should have told you how he felt back then, instead of turning tail and leaving!” He tells Aqua, and she closes her eyes and chews her lip.  
“He didn’t,” she murmurs, earning a scoff from Riku. She opens her eyes to look at him.

"No shit," he says. "Aqua, what did you tell him when he was saying all this?"

"… I told him I blamed myself at first," she admits. "Told him I thought _ I _ had been the one pushing _ him _ away.” A pause. “Maybe I should have expressed how I felt about him more often than I did.” 

“Aqua-” Sora starts, looking her dead in the eyes, “this isn’t on you.”

“What if it is, though?” 

This time, all three kids start speaking up at once, their words and voices overlapping. 

“Don’t blame yourself, he was the one who left you-”

“He should have talked to you if he was so scared-”

“You’re not the one who didn’t know how to communicate your feelings-”

Aqua holds up her hands to cut them off. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, please.” Kairi, Riku, and Sora all three fall silent, Riku quietly but visibly fuming, Sora staring at her incredulously, and Kairi looking concerned. 

“Aqua, Terra had three years to come back and tell you the truth. But he decided to stay away and leave you on your own. And now he’s back, and you’re sounding like you’re blaming yourself for him ever having left in the first place. Don’t do that to yourself.” Riku says. He still sounds angry, even if Aqua knows it isn’t necessarily directed at her. 

“What you three don’t know about me is that I’m… not the best at showing affection at times,” Aqua begins to explain, and when Riku opens his mouth to reply again she shakes her head at him. “Let me finish. You three don’t count because for one, Riku you’re my little brother, and two, Sora and Kairi, you two have been his best friends for years, and because of that I’ve known you both for years. I had a different kind of relationship with Terra. We were romantically involved; on top of that, he was the first person I was ever involved _ with _. I didn’t always know how to navigate my feelings. I knew I loved him, but… maybe, just maybe, I never told him that enough.” And it hits her, then. “Maybe that’s why he was so afraid of me deciding that I was too good for him one day. Oh, god.” She finishes with that, looking like she’s just had an epiphany, and Kairi speaks up after several long seconds.

“Aqua… none of that changes the fact that he still should have talked to you about his feelings, his fear of being abandoned. And that especially doesn’t change the fact that he messed up, himself, by being the one doing the abandoning in the end.” Riku and Sora both nod in agreement, and where she's sitting Aqua hugs her knees to her chest, resting her chin on top of them. “Still…”

Riku sighs next to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Aqua. Look at me. Regardless of whether or not you told him you loved him as often as he needed to hear it, Terra shouldn’t have kept his own insecurities to himself. He should have communicated with you every bit as much as you should have communicated with him - probably more so, even.” 

It’s Kairi’s turn to nod alongside Sora. “Riku’s right.”

“Yeah,” Sora agrees, and as Aqua looks between them she feels herself tearing up again just like she had last night.

“What would I do without you three?” She murmurs, and Kairi gives her a sympathetic smile.

“We’re here for you, if and when you need us.”

“Always,” Sora adds, and Riku squeezes her shoulder gently before pulling away.

Aqua gives them a shaky smile. “Thank you, guys. I… I still need time to think about all of this, but thank you. Really.” She’s reminded again just how smart these kids are, and how loyal they are to her - and at that moment she’s overcome with emotion as gratitude and pride both swell up inside her. “Again, thank you.”

The other three give her encouraging looks, Riku looking less upset than he had before, for Aqua’s sake, and Kairi and Sora both looking like they’ll refuse to leave her side until she’s feeling even remotely better. 

“Have you eaten yet this morning?” Sora asks, and Aqua glances at him.

“I had some toast and coffee.” She says, and Sora shakes his head at her before he heads to the kitchen, dragging Riku with him. Kairi, sensing what Sora is up to, follows after them, and Aqua turns her head to look over the back of the couch at the trio. “What are you three doing?”

“We’re making you a real breakfast,” Sora calls over his shoulder, already rummaging through the fridge. “You got eggs? Or bacon?”

“I have both,” Aqua tells him. “But you three don’t need to-”

“Aha! Jackpot,” Sora says triumphantly, digging out the carton of eggs Aqua just bought yesterday, as well as a package of applewood smoked bacon. “And don’t worry about it, Aqua - you sit tight. The breakfast bunch are on the case. Operation: Cheer Aqua Up is a go.” Kairi giggles, while Riku gives Sora a look. “What?” He asks innocently, and Riku shakes his head.  
“We are not calling it that.”  
“Well, what do you want to call it? She’s your sister.”

“Let’s just call it ‘making Aqua a proper breakfast’. Really, now,” Riku clicks his tongue as he turns to Aqua. “You never settle for just toast. You’re better than that at taking care of yourself.” 

“I’m… not that hungry,” she admits, and all three of the others stare at her. “I’m not.”

“How much sleep did you get last night?” Sora asks her, brow furrowed in concern, and Aqua is tempted to lie - tempted being the key word, as she knows he’d see right through her, as would Riku and Kairi.

“Not a whole lot.”

Sora exchanges glances with the other two. “We’ll make you breakfast,” he repeats softly. “You don’t have to eat a whole lot; we’ll even eat with you. But you can’t just eat toast.” And with that, he’s taking control right there in her kitchen, alongside her brother and Kairi, the three working together as a team, and soon enough there’s bacon and eggs cooking together on the stove, and fresh coffee being made; when Aqua tries to enter the kitchen to help Riku bars her path and gently urges his sister to go sit back down, telling her they’ve got it, and she should relax while they do this. Before long, Riku informs Aqua that the food is ready and despite being flustered, Aqua can’t help but smile at the other three.

“Really, you three don’t have to make a fuss over me,” she tells them, and Kairi glances over the counter.

“We’re not. We’re looking out for you. There’s a difference,” the younger woman tells her, and the boys simultaneously hum in agreement as Sora scoops the scrambled eggs and bacon onto plates while Riku pours coffee into four different mugs.

After breakfast, Riku excuses himself and Aqua and pulls his sister aside, lowering his tone.

“If there’s anything you need from us, don’t hesitate to reach out to me or Sora or Kairi - or hell, even any of the others. You know we’ve all got your back,” he tells her.

“You sound like Lea,” Aqua muses, and Riku crosses his arms.

“I’m serious, Aqua. We’re all here for you.”

“Kairi told me the same thing already,” she murmurs, and Riku nods.

“She’s right to say it. If you need anything-”

“I don’t want any of you worrying about me.”

“Worrying about y- Aqua. The fact that Kairi had to text Sora and I to come here just from the fact of the matter that you were keeping all this - everything with you and Terra - from me, your own _ brother _, in the first place, tells a lot. Listen, I know this can’t be easy for you. What Terra did, I understand if it-”

“What Terra _ did _ ,” Aqua starts, and she’s frowning now, “is leave me for the reason that he was terrified I would eventually turn him away. And all because I wasn’t as open with my feelings back then as I could have - or should have - been. Regardless of whether or not the rest of you want me to blame myself, _ that much is on me. _ End of discussion.”

Riku sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face. “You’re my sister and I love you, but you’re really fucking stubborn sometimes, you know that?”

“I didn’t get to where I am in life by being a pushover,” she retorts. “Really, Riku, it’s fine. Whatever is going on with Terra and I, I’ll deal with it.”

“Fine. But if you get hurt again…” Riku’s tone is final, and Aqua reaches to ruffle his hair, looking amused. 

“I know, you don’t need to say it.”

“Hey!” Riku ducks away from her hand, smoothing his hair down. “Not in front of Kairi and Sora…”

Aqua chuckles, shaking her head at her brother before moving past him to walk back to the other two. "What do you two have planned now? Surely it can't be sticking around here all afternoon."

"I don't really have anything planned, no," Sora tells her, locking his hands behind his head and grinning up at her.

"... Okay, then. Kairi?" 

The redhead turns her gaze to Aqua and shrugs lightly. "I told my parents I was with you."

Well, it looks like she’s stuck with the trio for now. They’re all three stubborn, Aqua reminds herself, and don’t appear to want to be leaving her on her own any time soon, and she isn’t sure whether it’s due to the current circumstances, or due to how much they like her - specifically Riku. He’s been protective of Aqua ever since he was old enough to walk, it seems, always having had an unwavering loyalty to her as a younger brother, and it’s part of the reason she loves him so much - him, and Kairi and Sora, and all the others in their little circle of friends. These kids are family not only to each other, but to Aqua as well, and she’s grateful they all exist in her life. 

It’s them, and Ventus as well, and Aqua feels a stab of sadness once again at the idea of Ventus potentially having to choose between her and Terra. Sadness, and a knot of guilt in her stomach. She needs to call Ventus soon, get together with him again and talk things over with him as well. She wonders if he’s talked to Terra. Knowing Ventus, he most likely has, and Aqua can only wonder what might have been said between the two men. She can only wonder whether Terra has decided the same thing she’s realized about herself having been closed off emotionally, and Aqua realizes then, also, that the sooner she and Terra get together to talk things out some more, the better.


End file.
